My Ethical Will Irene Ruth Wilkenfeld (A Voyage of Discovery)

It was suggested to me that I write an “ethical will.” My heartfelt appreciation to my gifted healer and primary care physician, Dr. Jonathan Singer for this suggestion. He is a therapeutic blessing.

I was unfamiliar with the concept of an “ethical will.” After some research I learned that whereas legal wills bequeath valuables, ethical wills bequeath values. Many believe that the ethical will is an ancient tradition for passing on personal beliefs, blessings and advice dating back to biblical times. Indeed the Hebrew Bible contains some of the first references to ethical wills. In Genesis, Chapter forty-nine, Jacob gathers his 12 sons around his deathbed. In Deuteronomy 33, Moses gives his farewell to the Children of Israel. Both of these examples of moral directives are among the earliest recorded versions of an ethical will.

I am now excited to share my legacy of values:

My beloved liver and I have a message for you. It comes not from years of formal education, but from a life lived on a toxic planet.

1. Without a doubt the single most important part of my legacy is concentrated in just three Lakota Indian words: MI taku oyasin. We are all inextricably interconnected and intertwined. I have learned that I am linked to every man, woman, and child; to every Pronghorn antelope, to every ant, termite, tree and to every blade of grass, and to the so-called and much maligned weed. Whatever we do to the ant or to the termite, to the air, food chain, or water, to our habitat, ecospace, we ultimately do to ourselves and the entire planet. Our bodies are a barometer of our environment. If we ignore this reality, we do it at our own peril.

   Our modern lifestyle is a product of our sense of dislocation and alienation from nature. The ancient Romans grazed cattle on a parcel of land for a specified period of time. The animals were then slaughtered and their organs examined. If the animals had poisoned livers, the potential building site was abandoned. By contrast, we cavalierly build homes and schools on or adjacent to hazardous waste dump sites and swamps. We contaminate them all.

   Not surprisingly, growing legions of environmentally injured victims are being uprooted and forced from their homes and workplaces in what Professor Steve Kroll-Smith (Department of Sociology at the University of New Orleans) calls a “tragic Diaspora.”

   I was one of those dispossessed “lifestyle casualties,” in 1970 following my tenure as a teacher in such a schoolhouse, contaminated with chlordane (a potent neurotoxic, hepatotoxic termiticide) and then again in 1987 after Mel and I moved into a newly constructed home that was outgassing dangerous levels of formaldehyde and other toxic volatile organic compounds.

   Mi taku oyasin can be an antidote for what Einstein called our “optical delusion,” thinking that we are separate and apart from our environment.

   Chief Seattle wisely cautioned – “Contaminate your bed, and you will one night suffocate in your own waste.”

   I lovingly urge you all to continually assess your voluntary exposures to things like pesticides, solvents and perfumes, with a heightened awareness of your body’s permeability and unique sensitivities. Practicing AVOIDANCE is key. Please educate our precious babies, family members and communities.

2. The idea of Mi taku oyasin leads directly to my next value – COMPASSION and EMPATHY. In my mind no one can be fully; human(e) without a deep sense of COMPASSION and EMPATHY. These emotions distinguish us from all other animals. The basis of compassion is an unconditional friendship / acceptance of yourself, and it is one of the seeds of happiness. To be truly compassionate / empathetic, one has to give up self deception. Being empathetic is the beginning of discovering your own humanness, your connectedness with everyone else. (I send you all my healing compassion, joy, and love.)

3. EDUCATION – It is often said that man receives two educations: one formal; one that s/he gives him/herself. I hope that you all become lifelong creative, independent thinkers and learners.

4. FOREIGN LANGUAGES – Learning a foreign language is one good strategy to form connections to others.

5. LOVE – According to Professor Morrie Schwartz of the popular book Tuesdays with Morrie – “Love is the answer” and “death ends a life, not a relationship.” I pray to be locked in an eternal, meaningful relationship with each and every one of you!

6. FAILURE – Fear of failure is a waste of time and energy. Often we learn more from our failures than from our successes.

With pride and much love to Missi – our gifted and multi-talented daughter and the mother of our angelic grandchildren, Emmie and Chloe.

With special affection for all my open-hearted friends and family members.

With gratitude and appreciation to Dr. J. W. Singer – a supportive healer and my favorite giraffe.

We’ve come full circle! Mi taku oyasin is they key!